Friday's Activities

Running around blindfolded-this is the third time I've done this in STAC, and of course it's a different experience each time. It's a trust exercise and a getting-to-know-each-other exercise and a "what would it be like if I were blind?" exercise, and it's just plain fun, but surely, it's something more...When I put on a blindfold for 15 minutes, I let go of the aesthetic world for at 15 minutes. Sure, I also let go of the aesthetic world when I close my eyes and go to sleep, but this is different, because I'm doing something; I'm being led around a building without sight. Suddenly, I care more about my other senses: I want to touch everything possible so I know where I am...a soda machine, a pine cone, a few piano keys, a high-five from a child at daycare, the railing of a flight of stairs. I can smell when we're in the women's bathroom or the wings on the sides of the stage or the musky dance studios. Even though I can't see them, I can hear and feel the custodial staff and the other Community Center workers giving me strange looks as Jill leads me past them.

I have experienced this building so many times, in so many different ways. Once when I was a little girl in Girl Scouts, we had a square dance in the gym. Many times in my first year of STAC for dance, music, photography, and acting workshops in various dance studios. Three times in my first year of STAC to see a production of "Urinetown: The Musical" in the auditorium. Several times in my second and third years of STAC as well, for workshops. Many hours spent working on Children's Theatre productions on that same stage. Many hours spent rehearsing the one-act plays and frantically fixing costumes for "Into the Woods." Experiencing this building blind is like a whole other world. It's new to me, as if I've never been here before. Maybe that's part of why it's so scary at first. Although I adapt to it, comfortable with the silence, trusting the person holding my hand, there is still a little glimmer of fear in the back of my mind. Sure, I know that no one in their right mind would lead me into a wall, but it's still hard to let go when you're so used to having control.


After taking off the blindfold, I felt as if I appreciated the aesthetic world much more. I understoond the space around me in a completely new, different way. It was bigger, more detailed, and full of new options and heightened senses.

I feel like the repetition exercise and the blindfolded exercise connect with each other. Both are about letting go and just letting whatever happens happen. I had a really good moment with Luke when he and I were partners for the repetition exercise. At one point I said "anxious" and we repeated that for a bit, and then he said "college" and we repeated that and I started to feel the connection, and then he said "it's gonna be okay" and we repeated that, and then he started tearing up and gave me a hug. It was so reassuring! I actually felt for once that everything is going to be okay! As with the blinfolded exercise, you just have to let go, stop thinking, and let yourself open up.